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“21” A Poem by Marcie Paez ’18

Tonight, my roommate said to me,

“I wish you’d put the bottle down.”

I wish I could. I wish I could drown what you made me feel today. Feeling hopeful to distraught.

You looked handsome.

So, handsome.

Admitting that I undressed you with my eyes as we exchanged friendly chatter.

You don’t know that I know you’re going out.

But I know you know that you promised me we’d try again.

What changed?

I’ve become obsessed with numbing the reality of you with another physical or mental object.

I listen to music, I pray, I read, I talk and talk and talk, I mediate, and now I write and drink.

I’m becoming a cliché poet when my goal was to become an archivist and own a corgi with you.

I don’t like to hold things against you.

You are too kind and smart and beautiful for that.

But I want to tell you I forgive but never forget.

Unless it’s with the bottle.

I always forget when I don’t put down the bottle.

And maybe deep down, I am hoping to undress you in real life again.

Posted by on December 1, 2017. Filed under Around Campus. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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