Even though awards season is over, a red carpet isn’t necessary when there’s a courtroom. A week after Gwyneth Paltrow’s half-day of lost skiing made the whole country laugh, “Ghetto Superstar” rapper and Fugees member Pras Michel is on trial for something much more serious. But the stars are coming together… to give evidence.
First up is Leonardo DiCaprio, an Oscar winner, humanitarian, and model whisperer. Speaking of model whispering, the Oscar winner spoke so softly during his testimony that the judge had to tell him to speak up.
Even though DiCaprio is not on trial, he is said to have told the grand jury that found Michel guilty. CNN says that when the Titanic actor walked into court with US Marshalls on Monday, he really broke the ice:
“When the government’s lawyers called DiCaprio as a witness, some of the jurors who had been dozing off during the last witness suddenly sat up and paid attention. One juror’s head shot up out of her hands, and another started looking around with excitement.
A third juror put his hands together quietly and leaned back in his chair.” When you’re on trial, this is exactly what you want to see: A. a jury that’s barely paying attention. And B. said that the jury was then “fangirling” over a witness who helped put you in jail.
Prepared or not. He’s coming. The prosecutor, Nicole Lockhart (not Kristin VanOrman, but who is? ), then had the nerve to ask the kid from Growing Pains, “At the risk of asking a stupid question, what do you do for a living?”
Then DiCaprio said, “I am an actor,” as if he were starting the Screen Actors Guild Awards. So, at this point, you might be wondering, “What the hell is going on here?” Let’s do a classic movie flashback to show how the third-best Fugee is said to have been involved in a scheme to raise money for Barack Obama’s re-election. That’s what it says.
Picture it, 2010. Las Vegas. DiCaprio meets Jho Low, a Malaysian businessman who is now being accused of stealing billions of dollars from his country’s sovereign wealth fund, 1MDB, and is, unsurprisingly, nowhere to be found.
In the 1990s, DiCaprio met Michel and went to a Fugees concert with him. Michel might have spent Thanksgiving at DiCaprio’s house for one year. DiCaprio’s “memory does not serve,” though.
DiCaprio and Low became friends, and DiCaprio knew that Low was “like a prodigy in the business world” and very successful.
He went to fancy parties where Michel often showed up. Once, Low flew a couple of famous people to Australia for New Year’s Eve and then back to Las Vegas for the clock to strike midnight again.
David Kenner, who is Michel’s lawyer, asked if they got back in time for the Vegas New Year. DiCaprio said, “It depends on how you look at it,” which made everyone in the courtroom laugh out loud. Why? because Leonardo F—-ing DiCaprio is in it.
DiCaprio said that he and Low talked about the 2012 election, and Low told him that he or a group of people were going to give between $20 million and $30 million to the Democratic Party.
The multimillionaire remembered, “I said, ‘Wow, that’s a lot of money.'” Yes, Leonardo DiCaprio, it sure is. Enough for people to use words like “conspiracy” and “indictment.” Low is accused of giving more than $21 million in foreign money to Michel.
Michel is then said to have given $865,000 to Obama’s re-election campaign through fake donors, which broke many laws. Michel has said he is not guilty, and Obama, like DiCaprio, hasn’t been charged with anything wrong.
Low, on the other hand, is accused of a lot of things, including using money he stole from 1MDB to pay for movies, like The Wolf of Wall Street, which was based on cocaine and may have been illegally funded.
When he got his Golden Globe for his performance the next year, DiCaprio thanked Low by name. But in 2015, DiCaprio broke up with Low after finding out that Low had stolen money from Malaysia and “a lot of other places.”
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Low was left clinging to a door in the middle of the ocean. Then, in 2016, prosecutors started taking things from The Wolf of Wall Street, including a Picasso that Low’s friend is said to have bought with stolen money and given to DiCaprio as a gift.
Reports say that the actor is now working with US prosecutors to return any money from 1MDB that he or his charities got. As for Michel, his trial just started, and you never know what other famous people might show up.
Barack Obama? Perhaps the hard-to-find Ms. Lauryn Hill? A real Fugees get-together? But it’s clear that Jho Low will not be there, at least not if he can help it (supposedly). Anywhere he is.
